Hello world!

My husband and I tried for about 7 months for our first child. I had some funky stuff happening with my cycle so I was doing a lot of work to figure out why we weren’t conceiving. In the end all it took was some vitamins and cervical mucus tracking to get pregnant then progesterone injections throughout to stay pregnant. I was careful about that I ate, exercised and followed doctor recommendations to go on insulin (I was gestational diabetic, just like my mom had been when pregnant with me). The point is, everything I did before and after birth with my first was intentional. I taught him basic sign language, followed Baby Led Weaning and sleep-trained him. I scheduled tummy time and signed up for swim lessons. I utilized my toolbox from my working days and made him a sensory box and we got him a playground at age 1 to give him gross motor play opportunities. He was born a week early-unable to wait any longer to enter this world. 

In stark contrast, my second child was unplanned. This time around I was much less intentional. I refused insulin because it made me puffy and hungry, I ate like a pregnant woman and just tried to enjoy the experience. My second took his time joining us in this world. My labor was only about 8 hours, but he was in no hurry to leave the womb. For weeks the doctor told me how low he was and how he’d be coming any day now. And when he made his appearance the chaos and the joy more than doubled. My kids are 20.5 months apart and I often feel we are just keeping our heads above water. Instead of the long leisurely hours of nursing and napping snuggled cozily together in the recliner my youngest rarely gets an undisturbed nap when my toddler is awake. He gets less sleep, more bottles, more salt, fewer baths, more pouches and has learned to go with the flow. He is loved just as much but much of his life I’ve just been flying by the seat of my pants. And I have felt a little guilty about this at times, but he is not neglected, his needs are met, he never cries for more than a minute or two before I snuggle him, and he is a happy boy. I say all of this because its ok. Its ok to have done things differently by necessity. Its ok to nap in the car instead of in the crib. Its ok to lick the salt off the french fries and hand them to the back seat after a long morning outing when you’re racing home for a quick lunch and naptime. I still nurse him every night and every morning and love him just as much as my first. And boy is he resilient! He is super strong, tough and determined not to be overlooked. He takes up space and gives his big brother a run for his money. He may have competition for my attention but never for my love.